Saturday, September 18, 2010

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. ~Natalie Goldberg, Wild Mind

I feel like I'm back at the beginning. I had a week of barely eating and my fear is coming true. My body is now begging for more food every time I turn around. I'm hungry all day long. All I want to do is go to the cupboard, make myself a giant platter of food, sit on the couch, eat, watch movies, and possibly cry.

Last night I even went over my calories a little bit. Not by much...but I feel like junk about it. I haven't worked out yet either. I had a bowl of Special K with skim milk. Yea, I know...WHOA SPLURGE!!!!! But, I don't eat cereal...sooo...it was a splurge for me. Also, I will not lie...I had a half of a glass of wine last night. I haven't had alcohol in probably a month. But, Jason and I felt like having a small glass of Merlot to unwind last night. All I could think was, "God, this tastes good. Crap...it has calories."

Today when Jason gets home I am going to walk over to our little gym and bust a move on the treadmill.

Also, I'm more stressed out than I have been in a very long time...and I'm pretty certain that adds to my hunger and to the number on the scale.

I hope I can get back on track...maybe a cup of coffee will help me.

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