Another pound....

I have good news! I lost another pound. It's super slow going this weight loss journey, but I am happy every time I see that number move. So, today I weighed in at 174 lbs. That's 8 pounds since I started. I'm going to call this a success!

I think I am starting to grasp the idea of what is good and bad and how many calories things have. I truly think by Christmas I can at least lose 20 of the 25 pounds I have set out to lose.

In other news, I got a part time job. Working with food. Delicious food. I don't think this will be as much of a challenge as people think. It just so happens as soon as I got hired, I went on the website and researched the nutritional information of everything. So, I pretty much know what I can and cannot have. It's going to be good.

The other good thing about me having a job is that is 10-15 hours a week where I will be busy and not sitting at home getting hungry because I can be. I am busy at home, but there are always times throughout the day where we stop and relax and then I eat. So, this is possibly going to be an aide in my weight loss. Some look at it as a challenge, but I consider it help.

One thing I'm not happy about...I had to get khaki pants for work. Why is it that I can now fit a 12 in denim, but I am still a 14 in khaki???

Stay tuned. Next week I don't intend to a big weight loss, but the following week...look out.

top 10 fitness facts

I just wanted to share an article I read this morning. 10 reasons to exercise...other than getting thin...

TOP 10 FITNESS FACTS

Enjoy!

And, of course, the funniest food of all, kumquats. ~George Carlin

What exactly is fun about fun sized candy?

Sure, it's small and cute. But, you know what happens...I can't say no to it. Losing willpower is absolutely no fun.

Seriously. I can absolutely say no to a big candy bar. Bring me a king sized Snickers bar, and unless I haven't eaten all day or I am in a well of depression, I can find a better choice. I can eat a 100 calorie bag of anything. Or I can eat fruit.

So, what is it about the fun sized candy bars? I can't say no. I stop by the candy dish, think 'it's only one little piece', and start unwrapping the Hershey goodness. Problem. I don't stop at one. I'm certain that throughout the day I eat a king sized candy bar worth of fun sized candy. And then I become 'not so fun sized Amy'.

If you want to live with the grand idea that fun sized candy has no calories...do not follow this link: FUN SIZED CALORIES

This will be my struggle all through the month of October. Especially this upcoming week for female reasons.

Now, don't get me wrong...just because I have been indulging on fun sized candy bars doesn't mean I have fallen completely off the wagon. I'm not going to town on Big Macs and french fries. I just know that this month's weight loss is going to be super iffy.

Good news: I am successfully into my size 12's. I don't have to plie any more to get into them and I can breathe normal to zip them up. So, I know if they start being snug...I've had too much fun sized chocolate to last me a lifetime. Today is football...so no working out, no dance parties...maybe some crunches at the end of the night. I like to do them after the kids go to bed so I don't have to try and crunch with a toddler and a preschooler sitting on me. Tomorrow...cardioke. Today...football and fun sized candy.

Just checking in.

Just checking in. I got on the scale this morning. It said the same thing as last week...175. I'm okay with that this week. I know I wasn't a good girl. I deserved to gain a pound. Due to my lack of eating the week before, I was a ravenous beast. I couldn't get full this week and I was a monster chocoholic. I barely worked out. But, I managed to maintain.

I am going to take it as a lesson learned. The lesson: I know how to maintain. But, I'm pretty much back on track. Drinking my water, eating right, not going completely overboard on chocolate, and exercising.

Tomorrow, I think I will cardioke again.

Sunday, I intend to drink a few beers with my football...I'd better double upon the cardioke tomorrow.

Not meant to be thin!?!??!

The other day I was talking to my grandmother, I don't exactly remember what we were talking about, but I do remember her saying to me, "I guess we just weren't meant to be thin in this family."

It made me angry and sad. It made me upset that she thinks we're all so overweight and that there is nothing we can do about it. Also, my grandmother used to be a hotty. No joke. I've seen pictures. She was thin...she was thin at 30. She was thin at 40. She's sort of heavy now...but she's also...70. Don't you dare tell her I told you that!!! In any case, perhaps she was in the same boat as me all her life...self conscious about her looks even though she was maybe only 10-20 pounds overweight at any given time. Or maybe she really thinks I'm fat.

I'm positive she's not the only person who thinks this way...that they are doomed to never be thin. I'm sure I have plenty of friends and acquaintances that think they were fated to a life of being "fat". Hey, not everyone is going to be a size 4, sure, but everyone can be healthy.

What really gets me about her comment is that I'm not even fat. Overweight, sure. I've got some junk in my trunk and bounce to my ounce and I'm working on it...but, it got me thinking..is this how people see me? Do people look at me and say, "Wow, lay off the cheeseburgers lady?"

Well, I'm not going to stand for it. I'm getting thinner everyday. On top of that, I'm getting smarter everyday. I'm learning to read labels and find things that taste good and aren't going to send me to an early grave or a scale that won't even read my weight.I'm learning that a little bit of exercise goes a long way to make my heart healthy and not just make my jeans fit better.

I'm not fated to be fat or unhealthy and I pray I never see the day where my daughter looks in the mirror and feels bad about what she sees. I'm giving her smart life choices. I'm giving my children the option of vegetables at every meal...vegetables that aren't covered in cheese whiz and butter. I'm offering fruit. My kids are allowed to have junk food...chocolate, fruit snacks, and ice cream...but, in moderation. And, yes, we do eat the occasional cheeseburger. But, I'm hoping that my children grow up with the knowledge to make the right choices and never hear the words, "I guess we just weren't meant to be thin in this family." They can be fat, thin, tall, or short...I don't really care...as long as they are healthy.

There's never been a you before, so how can someone tell you how you should be?

Well, I'm back! I'm back to counting calories and working out after a long week of being sick and couch ridden. I am having a hard time, as I expected, with my hunger control. My week of barely eating has caught up with me and now I'm an eating machine. I have gone over my calories once or twice by like 50 calories and it's eating me alive. I am pretty certain this is a mixture of my body punishing me for sick starvation week and because I am the most stressed I have ever been in my life.

But, I'm back to working out. I took Eileen's workout advice once again and tried Cardioke. It is FINALLY on OnDemand and I couldn't be happier. It is about 24 minutes of the video workout and it is awesome. It's a mixture of aerobics and karaoke. It's kind of like being at a wedding and dancing and singing along...but minus the beer and wine. It is so much fun...and if you can believe it my arms and shoulders hurt like crazy today. I really worked it. Warning: there is an original song that you cool down to that made me cry. The words hit me right in my heart. But, the rest of the workout...awesome. I want the full workout.

Hopefully the scale shows me my efforts in working out and not my weakness to hunger and stress this week. One good thing...my collarbones are getting sexier every week. I swear it. I couldn't stop staring at them today. I'm becoming a collarbone vanity freak.

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. ~Natalie Goldberg, Wild Mind

I feel like I'm back at the beginning. I had a week of barely eating and my fear is coming true. My body is now begging for more food every time I turn around. I'm hungry all day long. All I want to do is go to the cupboard, make myself a giant platter of food, sit on the couch, eat, watch movies, and possibly cry.

Last night I even went over my calories a little bit. Not by much...but I feel like junk about it. I haven't worked out yet either. I had a bowl of Special K with skim milk. Yea, I know...WHOA SPLURGE!!!!! But, I don't eat cereal...sooo...it was a splurge for me. Also, I will not lie...I had a half of a glass of wine last night. I haven't had alcohol in probably a month. But, Jason and I felt like having a small glass of Merlot to unwind last night. All I could think was, "God, this tastes good. Crap...it has calories."

Today when Jason gets home I am going to walk over to our little gym and bust a move on the treadmill.

Also, I'm more stressed out than I have been in a very long time...and I'm pretty certain that adds to my hunger and to the number on the scale.

I hope I can get back on track...maybe a cup of coffee will help me.